Connected
Communication.
Team Culture is built one moment of awareness and choice, and one conversation at the time.
IMAGINE THIS CHALLENGE:
"if I say it,
they may not
like me..."
"...and yet if I don’t, I am not being honest and effective...
How can we be honest, respectful and effective?
There is no quick solution. Increasing the quality of conversations is a journey that requires deliberate practice.
We support leaders and teams on this journey through Taming the Elephant Workshops and several tools, including:
Creating awareness of the types of conversations that need help, doing the 14 Conversations Inventory
1
Doing the
12 Connected Communication Practices
2
Playing the Connected Communication Challenge, a four-week game-based learning journey
3
"The Connected Communication approach has fundamentally changed how our leadership team navigates difficult conversations. We're now able to address the 'elephants in the room' with both courage and compassion."
​
— Senior Executive, Technology Company
2
THE 12 CONNECTEDNESS
COMMUNICATION PRACTICES
Which of the practices below will you find most helpful to increase the quality of conversation in your team?
​
Suggestion: Take one practice each month to focus on.
Disconnected
Communication
Habits (Crocodile)
Connected
Communication Practices
(owl) - COAX
1
Be attached to pre-set meeting outcomes and how the other person responds. Prioritize comfort over courage.
CENTER
​
Commit to Your Intention (vs Expectation). Practice the 1% Principle (Focus on What You Control).
2
Forget to pause and reflect. Run from meeting to meeting. Shallow breathing.
Go to the BEACH (Breathe, Encourage, Accept, Choose, Higher Wisdom). Be in Appreciative Presence a 10. Let Go of Judgment (negative assumptions).
3
Beat around the bush, hide behind “we” and have a cosmetic conversation or beat others up with your unprocessed reactive thinking and feeling.
Consider Your Authentic Truth: What You Really Care About and Would Like to See Happen (for the I (self), We (relationship) and It(task)). Share with Honesty, Respect and Purposefulness.
Use I-Statements.
4
Nosedive into the content, forgetting there is another human being with you.
OPEN
Connect before Sharing Context and Content.
5
Be either too narrowly focused on a detail, or do a fly over, never touching the real issue.
Choose the Altitude for the Topic Deliberately.
6
Assert interpretations and opinions as facts. Have to be right.
Share with Humility. Tune your ORGAN in chunks (Observe the Facts, Reason and Interpret, Grapple with your Opinion, Ask for What You Want, Negotiate Next Step). Make it accessible.
7
Meander, preach, and wallow.
Speak pages without a point.
Keep it Zen Short and Simple.
Speak Two Paragraphs Max. Create balance in how much each speaks. Play tennis: stay on your side of the net.
8
Assume negative intent and think
you know better. Interrupt and
mull about what you will say next.
ASK
Listen Deeply. Stay curious (“Say more…”), Ask Open Questions. Bring out the best. Empathize. Play Back to Check. Inquire into deeper TRUTHS (Touch feelings, Reflect on challenges, Underlying needs, Top values, Higher roads, Support needed)
9
Isolate and do it all yourself,
assuming others can’t help you.
Only care about your own
success and survival.
Ask for Help. Also, Extend a Hand. Be of Service
Together.
10
See others and their opinions as
the enemy. Polarize with
‘either/or’ and ‘but’ thinking.
EXCHANGE
Explore Shared Interests that Underly Conflicting Positions. Conflict is Confluence. Same Side of the Table. Use ‘and’.
11
Make vague or no agreements. Or
demand with ‘Let’s’. Make fuzzy or
no promises. No accountability.
Finish the Conversation & Catch the Ball. Make
Clean Requests and Promises. Make Micro-Agreements throughout the conversation.
12
Get stuck in one scene of the
conversation. Get bogged down
by the heat of the moment.
Keep Balcony Learning Mindset. Have Meta-
Conversation (Pattern) If Needed.
3
THE CONNECTEDNESS COMMUNICATIONS CHALLENGE
What we spend time and attention on grows. Consider playing a 4-week, 15 minutes a day online game to increase the quality of your conversations and learn the 12 Connected Communication Practices.
HIGH-LEVEL OUTLINE
Week 1
Introduction to the 12 Connected Communication Practices
Week 2
1%
The 1% Principle and Authentic Truth
Week 3
Sharing
our
Truth
Week 4
Same Side of Table Listening & Catching the Ball
The experience includes:
