Coming up April 18
LEADERSHIP CONVERSATIONS ABOUT
COURAGEOUS CONNECTEDNESS
ABOUT
ROOTED & UNWAVERING PODCAST SERIES
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Peace, Compassion, Wisdom, Purposefulness, Creativity and Strength come online in us when we deeply connect with the true, unwavering greatness that lives within ourselves and others. In this podcast and radio show, Hylke Faber engages in deep inquiry with leaders from all walks of life about courageously connecting with our true selves, others and the world at large.
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How do we stay connected to our true selves and our greatness, especially when we are challenged? How do we rest in the heart, also when our mind keeps us restless? What becomes possible when we truly stay committed to our own and others’ best selves, also when we don’t feel it? How do we practice staying connected to our true selves, in the midst of our busy lives?
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Join us and leave inspired to act on your heart’s greatness and that of the people around you.
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E55 - Latest Episode
Be Kind and Do
Your Inner Work
“I was promoted to Vice President too soon,” reflects Don Johnson, former monk who became an executive coach and writer of articles and of the book Living a Conscious Life: How to Find Peace, Wholeness and Freedom in a Chaotic World. “I was in survival mode.” In survival mode, he was less wise, less connected and less able to create a place of work where people could thrive. How did he find his way back? “I spent some time with the genie inside,” reflects Don. The more we spend time and attention on our inner being, the more we connect to the stillness, kindness, wisdom and connectedness inside. And we become more aware of our thoughts and feelings. We recognize part of them as repetitive and limiting. To grow as a leader and as a human being we need to do our inner work, which includes facing and transforming our limiting beliefs, with kindness. Where do we start? Ask yourself: what am I afraid of? What is the limiting belief I have, that is based on this fear? Reflect on how this belief plays out in your life and leadership and start exploring what it would be like to live free from it. “You may discover a freedom, an ease inside that then translates also with the outer world becoming much kinder and easier to work with.” “The place to start is to be kind with yourself and accept where you are.”
E54
Depolarize with AI
“As leaders we need to change our human operating system,” shared Domien Van Gool, Founder of the Leader Academy (www.leaderacademy.tv). Core to leadership is connection. To build a culture of connectedness, we need to access our 3 AIs and 1 AU: Authentic Interaction, Appreciative Understanding, Accumulative Integration and Aligned Implementation. Domien honors a two-fold commitment; one to “the best we know now” while at the very same moment remaining open for “everything that improves the best we now know”. We don’t wait till we know it all, we give the best we have today. At the same time, we stay 100% open and humble to keep learning. This commitment provides a rich foundation for leadership, culture and relationships.
E53
You are the Boss:
Do Less, Sense More
Whether you’re a newly promoted manager or someone managing for decades, Sabina Nawaz, a global CEO Coach and author of the new book, You’re the Boss, Become the Manager You Want to Be (and Others Need) shares a fresh and provocative perspective on what it means to be a boss. Sabina says, “My intention in writing this book is to help bosses see themselves more clearly and understand the impact they have on others.”
Check out this podcast to learn more about:
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Why being promoted is the riskiest time in your career because you haven’t changed but your situation has
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Pressure, not power corrupts and being a boss comes bundled with pressure
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Power simultaneously magnifies down and mutes up.
As you navigate the combined forces of power and pressure, focus on doing less and sensing more: sensing your impact on your team and their productivity.
The management path is riddled with pressure. You won’t be perfect. Extend grace to yourself. Find people who will stand beside you in the moment you don’t know how to.
E52
Thrive? Clarify What
You Suck At
To thrive you need to be clear about who you are. “What do you suck at?” Skip Richards, pilot, photographer, barista, grandfather, father, singer, visionary and now retired technology executive, used to ask his team members. “You need to know what you are not good at so you can focus on your strengths.” Skip learned from his dad, Ed Richards, about the power of appreciating unique talents. His dad intentionally observed his children and what their interests and talents were and supported them actively. He built a dark room for Skip given his budding interests in technology. Years later, as an IBM leader, Skip received a low performance rating. His response? He flew to meet his boss to assert that he was not a low performer and that he needed to find a way to contribute to his team leveraging what he was good at. He became the top performer of the team for five consecutive years after that. Service and getting engaged with your community is another part of thriving. “We live in a time of social isolation. Get involved, find ways to be of service.”
E51
Leave It Better Than
You Found It
The Japanese fans at a FIFA tournament cleaned up their section at the end of the game? Why? “They wanted to leave it better than they found it,” says Vignesh Markandan, currently Vice President at Hitachi Digital Service, a company committed to social innovation. Our opportunity as leaders and human beings is to “learn as much as we can and apply it as best we can,” so we can be a contribution to those around us, including our environment. Vignesh deeply resonates with Hitachi’s mission, which is about harmony, sincerity and pioneering spirit. “As Ghandi said, our core priority as a company is our client.” Meeting the client’s objectives creates harmony. We need to be deeply honest along the way where our challenges and weaknesses are and address those using our creative, pioneering spirit. “The amount of times your heart pumps is finite,” muses Vignesh, “The amount of learning you can do is endless…I learn from everyone and everything around me.” Did you know that flowers attract bees by emitting an electrical signal and stop emitting once they have been pollinated? How is nature teaching us how we can live more in harmony with ourselves, each other and our environment?
E50
Leading is Trusting Others
Trust others, says Simon King, Chief People Officer at Daiichi Sankyo, Inc. and a 30-year biopharma leadership veteran. Trusting others to do their best will help them grow and give their best. This requires letting go of control. Trusting others starts with trusting yourself that will do your best. How do you do your best? Remind yourself of your intentions. What is it that you stand for, no matter what? How can you bring that into the next situation? Also, take it one day at a time. What is one thing you can do today? When setbacks happen, take accountability and make sure you keep supporting your team. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give tough feedback if needed. You should. At the same time, keep building trust by taking responsibility as a leader for what happened and not falling into the trap of shaming and blaming. No one does their best work when they are criticized and made to feel wrong in a large group. Extending trust gives people the courage to give their best and take responsible risks without fear. No one is perfect, yet you can extend trust to everyone you work with.
E49
Become a Good Crewmate on Spaceship Earth
‘The only line we really need to think about is the Thin Blue Line (the earth’s atmosphere),’ says veteran former-NASA Astronaut and aquanaut Nicole Stott. ‘We are here to be good crew mates, not just passengers, on spaceship Earth.’ Awestruck she felt when she first saw earth from space. And heartened she became experiencing her fellow astronauts from around the world prioritizing purpose and team, over self and differences, no matter what. ‘Great crewmates have great situational awareness and make choices from that integrated perspective.’ ‘Connectedness is a survival skill on a spaceship, also on spaceship earth,’ says Nicole. During the astronaut selection and training process she learned that we succeed by lifting others up and by being willing to accept help from others. Says Nicole: ‘When I put my feet on the ground in the morning, I remember how I am part of a much bigger whole. This inspires me to want to give my best, for the betterment of humanity.’ Challenged? ‘Take a moment, meditate and let a transcendent perspective inform you.’
E48
Face It, Feel It, Free It
“We need to give ourselves permission to be exactly where we are,” shares April Hernandez-Castillo, award-winning actress, keynote speaker and workshop leader on how to deal with the epidemic of intimate partner violence. “Give voice to what you feel, don’t hold it in,” she says. By voicing it, you advocate for yourself and for your abuser. Speaking it helps to release the traumatic patterns that hold both abuser and victim hostage. April starred as Eva in the award-winning Freedom Writers movie. Now as keynote speaker and workshop leaders, she helps us find our own freedom by encouraging us to be deeply honest about how we really are today. We give ourselves permission to be with all of us. That is the first step in healing. The next steps are every day practices, that include speaking our pain and our healing with deep compassion for ourselves and others, knowing that we are loved, no matter what.
E47
Soul Blazing: Dare to Be Your Higher Self, Also with the Bullies
“Choose who you aspire to be,” says Lisa Haisha, mother, life coach, author, transformational speaker and more. On a train to Prague, she fell into an elderly lady’s lap. As opposed to apologizing, she gave the lady a hug and said: “you are my grandmother.” The lady ended up giving Lisa her necklace to appreciate their authentic interaction. In a prison, Lisa worked with a lifer who had been bullying inmates and guard alike for the past 20 years. 20 years of therapy had done nothing for this person. As opposed to coddling her, Lisa spoke directly into this inmate’s soul, calling out in her what Lisa calls our imposters, the ego-based personality strategies we have learned early on to survive and belong. While being direct, Lisa also extended unconditional love and support to her. Lisa invites us to take the seat of who we truly are, our higher selves, and leave behind our imposter strategies that disconnect us from ourselves, each other and our service in the world. Read her book Soul Blazing to find out more.
E46
Creating Space for
Weak Signals
“To connect to others, we first need to connect to ourselves,” says Tuula Rytila, Board Member of multiple corporations, including Bang & Olufsen and previously Corporate Vice President at Microsoft. Tuula started a daily meditation practice when the pandemic started. “Meditation is creating space for me to recognize the weak signals in my brain more easily.” This helps her to be more creative in working with challenge. To innovate and change, we need fresh thinking. We need to take care of our brain and give it space to create new neural connections that are weak at first. We extend this space to our colleagues and teams. In conflict, we ‘fight and unite’ for higher purpose and need to be generous in giving up some of our positions to get to a better place together. Throughout, we keep coming back to ourselves, practicing 50% attention to ourselves and 50% to the people and challenges around us. Feeling stuck? Consider extending some more kindness to yourself right now. Everyone has kindness and love inside, it is our job to connect with it. We need to step over our fear of others and connect with authenticity and kindness.
E45
A Long Obedience in the Same Direction
“We have a choice to live a life from purpose or from transactionalism,” says Scott Richert, Chief Information Officer at Mercy. “We tend to oversteer when we hit a challenge and are not purposeful.” Can we stay true to our purpose when the challenge hits? We meet our purpose by being intentional about inquiring into it. Who am I? How am I called to serve? This contemplation takes time and requires us to listen beyond the surface voices in our head to the deeper levels of our spirit. We know when we are in purpose when our “purpose circuitry” is turned on. We are fired up to work with passion, we are more open to welcome different perspectives and become creative and strategic in forging new actions to achieve our purpose. A challenge then becomes an invitation for deeper reflection: How is this event an opportunity for me to learn and serve my purpose in a new way? We practice “A Long Obedience in the Same Direction,” a phrase Scott learned from the author Eugene H. Peterson.
E44
Become Their Best Listener: Crossing the Blue Line
“At some point I realized it wasn’t about me, it is all about all of us, the team,” shared Sieds Rienks, a top-level executive, now coach and mediator from the Netherlands. Sieds sees connectedness as the foundation of all leadership. “We create connectedness first and foremost through deep listening,” says Sieds. How do you be the best listener they have ever had? When people feel really listened to, they feel seen and they develop trust in you. Listening you discover their deeper values and needs and people feel appreciated. Appreciation is so foundational since most people feel some level of insecurity about themselves. Listening builds appreciation helps people to take the giant inner step of letting go of their fixed ideas about themselves and each other. When people feel really listened to, they cross the blue line inside of them and become ready to really engage with the other.
E43
How Can I Serve Today?
What are you really about? What is your vision for your life and leadership? How can I best be of service here? Filsun Moussa, a seasoned leader in regulatory affairs, and currently a Senior Manager at Medtronic, spends intentional time with these questions every day. In her tradition, she prays 5 times every day. “It helps me to get clear on my intention…a peace washes over me and I become less attached to how things should be….I become more devoted to giving myself to what is in front of me. Only today is here.” Filsun leads with service. In a meeting where there is tension, she will ask questions to help people get clear about their purpose together again and depolarize the conversation to focus on what really needs discussing. And she is part of #I am remarkable. “With my background, it’s important to respect and stand up for myself in a corporate environment.” One of her ways of being of service is to add her authentic voice the conversation.
E42
The Generative Power of Love
Mary Jo West has been called "The First Lady of TV News in Phoenix. In 1976, she became the city's first prime time anchorwoman for CBS'S local affiliate, KOOL News, Channel 10. She has received many awards, including the Emmys, also for a show on rape, the Peabody and "the Gracie" from American Women in Radio and TV. She now is semi-retired and continues to serve in multiple capacities, including doing customer service at Sky Harbor and working with orphans in Kenya. How does she keep giving? It’s the energy of love, says Mary Jo. “I am blessed to be alive and see every day as an opportunity to keep giving.” Tiredness comes from hate and anxiety. We need to free ourselves and give from the love that we are. Do you not feel it today? Go and volunteer somewhere. You will see that you will receive so much more than you ever can give away. “I plan on bringing light into the world until my last breath here,” says Mary Jo.
E41
Are You Looking Forward to Your Work Today?
“Every morning I make a choice to enjoy the day,” says Jim Lang, CEO of Eversana, a company dedicated to accelerating the industry’s shift to patient-centered, values based care, creating a healthier world for all. One of the big gifts Jim received early on in his life was the realization that between stimulus and response lies the freedom to choose. “This allows me to be calm and centered,” says Jim. Over his 30 years career as senior leader, Jim has built several values-based organizations. “Culture is essential,” says Jim. How do you create an organization that people enjoy being part of? It requires clear touchstones, like a mission, vision and shared culture beliefs, and it doesn’t stop there. Jim and his team share culture stories in their monthly townhalls, and they have created a culture where regular feedback is part of doing business. You cannot afford to keep people who are not living the values, even if they are high performers. Are you looking forward to having a meeting with this person? If not, there is a cultural issue that needs addressing.
E40
Serve Always, Also Incarcerated
We are being forged like a diamond through our life’s experiences, says Jon Antonucci, leadership expert and founder of SML Consultative, to become who we are called to be. Jon has realized that his core is about service, faith and deeply accepting what is now. “We always have impact on others, whether we realize it or not,” says Jon. “It is up to us whether it is good or bad.” Jon spent 12 years in prison. While there, he started a rehabilitation group with the motto “how can I serve,” even though this service orientation wasn’t popular and sometimes outright dangerous in the prison culture. Listening deeply within, Jon felt called to be a servant leader and inspire others to do the same, no matter what. Considering his aspired impact on others, helped him find the strength to stand for what was important to him, also when this put him at personal risk. He declined to partake in racism, even though he was told that Caucasians like him who’d speak to a black person, would leave the unit in a body bag. Jon knew from past experiences this not to be an empty threat. Yet he chose to directly address it and decline this racist order with compassion and clarity, living his deeply held orientation of being of service to everyone, no matter the consequences. What if we all served a bit more courageously today?
E39
Big Feelings?
Pull Up Your Perspective
How do we work with Big Feelings as we lead others? We need to consciously metabolize our experiences, in part by being intentional about the perspective we bring to them, says Ashley Reid, CEO of Wellist. Is stress bad? Not necessarily. It may tell us we are working on something we really care about. Important we find ways to come back to serenity, pull ourselves and our perspective up, and focus on what is most essential today. That can be getting on the Peloton, preparing a client presentation and having a high quality after action review with our team. “And that is enough for today.” In this way we can show up clear for the next moment. “That is really important to me,” says, Ashley. “Before I let anything come out of my mouth, I need to be clear inside.” How am I taking care of my inner landscape? How do I not let unmetabolized experiences spill over into my next interaction with someone, especially those closest to us, where we tend to spill most easily? Take the perspective of “Maybe Yes, Maybe No.” What ever is presenting itself in the short term may look like a disaster. In the long term, it can be a great blessing. It all depends on the perspective we bring to this moment.
E38
Connectedness Quotient Connecting to What is Truly Important
Walt Whitman described what we are in essence as an ‘unfailing sufficiency.’ How do we lead from this place of already good enough? Hylke Faber, coach, author and CEO of Growth Leaders Network, explores how our number one task as leaders is to get to know ourselves. Who are we beyond the surface level of our thoughts and feelings? How do we connect to this deeper place in ourselves, also when we feel challenged? Hylke explores how Truth, Love and Service are helpful orientations to become more connected to ourselves, each other and our purpose. What untrue thoughts do we attach to that disconnect us? We can learn to transform the three core Disconnectors: Obesson, Judgment and Control by letting go our attachments and putting ourselves at the heart of our being. How do we connect to this place that is deeply powerful and always bigger than any challenge that may come our way?
E37
Live Your Vision & Trust the Process & Possibilities
“You have to go inside of yourself and find out what you are about,” says, Vince Menzione, CEO, Ultimate Partner, and Host of the Ultimate Guide to Partnering podcast, “that is the first step.” Then you have to trust the process. Vince practices meditation daily to connect to himself and open up to the possibilities in every now moment. “You have to let go of the pack mentality thinking encoded in the reptilian brain, that is keeping you small, worrying about what others think about you, who you need to compete with, or what will eat you.” Vince has committed himself to his mission to empower every individual, organization and partner to achieve their greatest results through successful partnering.” He brings partnering professionals together and helps them work together to realize the true value they can bring. “Trust is the basis of all partnership,” says Vince. It’s trust in yourself, each other and the process. “We used to call this an Abundance Mindset, now we call it Growth Mindset. See the possibilities in front of you. Being grateful helps us to open our eyes to the richness of what is in front of us.”
E36
The Downshift Doula
What is truly important to you? You may have considered this question many times. Sunita Theiss, a home school mom and marketing and communications consultant has been living her life from this question, now together with her husband and two children, actively, mindfully and ongoing. She sees “dating as interviewing for life.” Do I want to spend the rest of my life with this person, and trust myself and them to also go through the hard times together? Five years ago, Sunita made a conscious choice to downshift her career, to be more hands-on with her family. She continues to face the grief of letting go of old expectations and needs that still pull on her at times, like money, getting into the C-Suite and simply more fitting in with how most people live their lives. Says Sunita: “Everyone wants to be seen, loved and understood.” However, Sunita is clear about “Who gets a vote” in her life. Some people are in, many people are not. “Make sure you have someone you can talk to in this journey of downshifting, someone you can truly trust,” says Sunita. She prioritizes family time together over money and prestige. Why? She just loves spending time with her family. She has daily check-ins with her husband to be mindful and reflect together on what is going well, and what is not, and how they can love on each other. Sunita’s dream is to sit with other moms and help them through the transition of downshifting their careers to focus on what is truly important to them.
E35
Strength from the Compassionate Overview Effect
Compassion is also about providing people with the bigger context. What box does this widget fit into and how is this box part of the product we are building and how does this product serve the world? Jill Meyers, a licensed private pilot since age 17 and senior leader at an engineering services company that supports the aerospace, transportation and national security communities, has been in love with all things flying since she was a child. Being up in the air gives her perspective and helps her see her humble part of the whole. She encourages all of us to ask ourselves: what is the bigger whole I am part of? How can I serve from that whole? How can I compassionately help others see the whole they are part of, so as to help them gain perspective, inspiration and energy to do what is needed, rather than following a small self, ego-driven agenda?
E34
Unconditional Gratitude
What if you chose to practice being grateful every moment? This doesn’t mean you accept unacceptable behavior or don’t take a stand for something. Choosing gratitude unconditionally can mean allowing yourself to accept what is and taking yourself on a journey to discover more about who you truly are in every moment. What lesson does this challenge teach me that I am grateful for? How can I thank this person who is unkind for teaching me about being compassionate? How can I thank this setback for teaching me about grit? How can I thank someone leaving for teaching me about the deep love I feel for them? Explore with Hylke Faber and Rick Gage how we can choose gratitude always, also if it means we are not liking what is happening. Every moment can teach us to let go more of our attachments and let in more about the true presence that we are.
E33
Without Effort I Am
More Than I Am
Follow the breadcrumbs, says Yvonne Higgins Leach, former Boeing communications leader, now poet, animal shelter and children education leader. We connect to a power greater than ourselves when we allow ourselves to be guided by something bigger than us. She says that it’s not about little me but about how we can be of service in this moment. “Service moments come in all ways.” Staying dedicated to service helped Yvonne stay centered leading the international communications across the many launch delays of the Boeing 787. Yvonne keeps listening deeply to what is asked of her. This includes working with animals, children’s education, and poetry. She writes poetry to make sense of her emotions and to process what is happening in her life. Her next book In the Spaces Between Us comes out this fall. Yvonne suggests we all take time for ourselves—connect, breathe, and take note of where the breadcrumbs in our lives may be leading us. “Sometimes you just need to turn off the news and let your mind settle so you can see what is truly called forth in you,” she says.
E32
What does this give you the opportunity to feel?
It became clear to Rick Gage, master facilitator and coach at a Human Workplace and Growth Leaders Network and grandfather of six, that what had been most important to him early on in life, getting validation, being perfect and moving up in the world was not about Rick, but about unlearning some of what little Ricky had learned as a child growing up. This shift in perspective gave rise to a deep, unflinching curiosity about life in Rick and a commitment to keep serving and growing. What is mine to do here? How can I grow from this experience? Rick’s wife, who passed away recently, was always reflecting on the question: What does this give you the opportunity to feel? It turns out when we really allow ourselves to feel, feelings lose their fangs. They no longer control us but instead give us insight into what is ours to learn and let go of, and what body and intuitive wisdom to pay attention to. Completely accepting our feelings each now moment connects us to the vibrancy of life. Rick contemplates questions over extended periods of time, all in an atmosphere of deep love and acceptance. He reflects: What if life is something I can’t screw up?
E31
Leadership is Asking
What Do You Need
Remember what it feels like to be in your body, your mind, your spirit, in this moment. This is where to start, and especially when we are at a crossroads, says Jennifer Byrne, currently the Chief Product and Technology Officer for LiveHire and formerly a senior leader at Arrived, Microsoft, Intel, McAfee and Symantec. Leadership is asking people what they truly need and want. That is how we help connect people with their creativity, passion, and focus. How do we discover what we need? It’s also a process of unlearning what no longer serves us and having the swagger to make the choice to leave that behind. “Practice giving yourself permission to be a human, in the privacy of your own mind is the very first step to connectedness.”
E30
Committing to the Everest
of our Potential
Erwin Visser stood on the summit of Mount Everest in 2023. What did he learn about himself climbing the world’s tallest mountain? Erwin shares we have to be clear about what our true goals are and not let any self-doubt get in the way of that. We need to overcome our fears, most of which are not about life and death. And even if they are about life and death, we need to stay focused on what we can control and not get lost in thinking about anything else. Everest continues teaching Erwin also now that he has come back down from the mountain. He reflects that his climb was also about him connecting to his own courage and share that as a role model for his five children. Ten years ago climbing Everest was unthinkable to Erwin. He proved to himself and to all of us that we when truly commit to realizing our potential we find the wherewithal within ourselves to scale the unthinkable possibilities that lie within us, also when we are challenged to our core.
E29
Creating through
Connectedness
Matt Oppenheimer, CEO and Co-founder of Remitly, the largest independent money transmitter in the US, has felt free to follow his passion from an early age. He started alcohol-free and drug-free parties in high school. He derives deep joy from connecting with others human-to-human. His interest and aptitude in connecting with others has helped him through many challenging moments, like when he and his team were looking for seed funding to start Remitly and he kept getting no’s. Instead of giving up, he kept asking for feedback. Some of the same investors that had said no, became lead investors and advocates for Remitly in subsequent rounds. Sometimes his fear didn’t allow him to go back to the no-investors right away. “You have to recognize when you are flooded,” says Matt. It required him to do his inner work of healing his anxiety and fear before he could reengage. He sees this as our biggest work: to recognize when we are stuck and let go of our inner crocodiles, these patterns that keep us small. Greatness lies on the other side of facing our discomfort.
E28
Power With Leadership
with Kelly Wendorf
“True leaders are those that are the most present and caring,” says Kelly Wendorf, CEO of Equus, and renowned master coach, author, spiritual mentor and social entrepreneur. Living from a place of truth and presence requires us to see through the conditioning of our mind that is colonized by thousands of years of power-over, separate self-based thinking. We get to remember our true home that is about presence, unconditional love, fierceness, brightness and deep connection with everything and everyone that is. Kelly shares how her Ethiopian mentor helped her find home when she was seven years old. Horses, a species that have survived for 56 million years, in parts thanks to living a power-with, mutual collaboration paradigm, are also teaching about this truthful way of life and leadership. It’s about being deeply connected to all that is. This is not all colors and rainbow. It is a demanding way. When we fall in love with it, it keeps asking us to be loyal and make life choices based on it: how we think, how we live, and how we interact with others and the rest of nature. Simply put: really be here now.
E27
How do we work through challenging moments and stay grounded? “We need to reach out to a close connection,” shares Debi Hanes, Principal Group Software Engineering Manager at Microsoft. We discover that the power of the collective mind is so much stronger than our individual one, especially under stress when we tend to keep spinning in our minds, especially when we believe we failed. In connecting with others we return to being grounded in the here and now and discover how to respond effectively. Debi sees connecting with others and helping each other grow as one of the core tenets of leadership. How do we build connections? “Be curious,” says Debi. What do you want to learn about the other person and/or an interest you have in common?
E26
with Vida Oliphant-Sneed
"Is this a reflection of who you are and who you want to be?" asked Vida Oliphant-Sneed’s mom, Laverna, when she observed her daughter not being at her best. From her earliest days Vida learned self-accountability as a core life orientation: stand on your own two feet. Taught by her dad, Clarence: "You got to know how to do your own thinking or someone else will do it for you." Vida has homeschooled her children for 19 years and recently became a playwright of the Lion Tells His Tale, which will be featured at the Intiman Theater in Seattle in May 2024. Vida’s life and work has deep commitment to faith and family at the center. This commitment guides her to be accountable for her own choices and embrace the discomforts in life as opportunities for prayerful growth. The Lion Tells His Tale was born out of the grief of not being able to visit Africa due to COVID. Says Vida: “When I recognize that I've been off center, I've got to examine that - and the first thing I do is pray." Her prayerful attitude helped her discover that her longing to stand on the shores that her ancestors had been taken away from needed to be channeled into a play based upon her friend Delbert Richardson’s traveling American History Museum “Unspoken Truths.” The play helps us to find our feet in the bigger story we are all part of. "Until the lion tells his tale the hunt will always glorify the hunter."
E25
What is it like to be truly rooted & unwavering? Says Hylke Faber, CEO of Growth Leaders Network and writer of the award-winning Taming Your Crocodiles books: “You connect to a place deep in yourself that is unchanging, always there. It’s something you can rely on no matter what, like a home that is not dependent on people, places or things.” Leading from this connected place helps you to be more grounded in your values. It also helps you to be firm and address what is truly at stake unflinchingly, rather than giving into needing to please others, win the argument, avoid conflict, or trying to control outcomes in other ways that disconnect you from your true self, others and the reality of the situation at hand. People in connected teams are deeply connected to themselves, each other and their purpose. How do we develop team connectedness? We can start by practicing the three questions of Connected Teamwork: What is true? What is loving? What is of service here? Enjoy listening to this episode of Rooted & Unwavering, facilitated by guest-host and GLN coach and facilitator Rick Gage.
E24
with Cees Buisman
“The shadow disappears if you truly accept who you are,” says Cees Buisman, Professor at Wageningen University and Executive Board Member at the water technology institute Wetsus in the Netherlands. “The more you accept yourself, the more authentic you can be.” How do we work with the challenges of our time as authentic leader? Cees sees three groups of people: suns, moons and black holes. He quotes research that says that 30% of people are good, 10% of people are bad and 60% of people are influenceable. The good people are suns and the influenceable are moons, reflecting the light of the sun. If we know we are a sun, our job is to radiate strongly so also the moons can be awoken to the light. In an organization that means truly living your values and holding others accountable to do the same. "If I want to be a good leader I must radiate". This isn’t always easy. It requires us to grow. “Personal growth is always a process of courage and a process of perseverance." Listen to this episode. Also read Cees’ latest book: “We Need to Change to Solve the Water Crisis.”
E23
Adam Freed, Managing Partner of GSV Ventures and former C-level leader at Teachers Pay Teachers, Etsy and Google shares how life continues to challenge him to get closer to who Adam really is and serve from that integrated place, as husband, father and leader. How do you get to your purpose? He sees it as an ongoing process of trial and error and one in which life presents us with challenges that are invitations for us to transform and live more closely aligned to what we deeply value. This doesn’t mean we will be comfortable all the time. We will experience, fear, pain, anxiety and yet we can grow through times of change as long as we keep practicing big curiosity. Also, he invites us to not be grandiose in our changes. Rather be practical: what is one lever you have that you can change today to live more aligned with what gives you energy?
E22
with Hylke Faber & Robert Washington
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There is only one version of Robert Washington, Sales Leader at Microsoft, proud father of 6, devoted husband, award-winning speaker and retired US Navy Seal and Professional Martial Artist. Robert stays committed to his commitment to keep investing in his relationship with himself, his faith, his family and his focus (his work). “’I truly care’ that's who I am,” shares Robert. He focuses on service to others first, because that is who he is. Also it frees him from the limited thinking that his small self, egoic mind may present him with. Robert is committed to staying centered in truth. He does so, in part by examining his thoughts. “I either control my thoughts, or they will control my actions and impact.” He questions his thoughts continuously: Is it true? Is this helpful? Where does this thought come from? Listen to this episode of Rooted & Unwavering and explore how to become more and more centered in what we truly are, no matter our external circumstances.
E21
with Renée Smith
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“When we shrink fear what takes its place is love,” shares Renée Smith, CEO and Founder of the Human Workplace. She sees putting love at the center as her joyful assignment and she has built a thriving organization around it. What does love at work mean? Renée asked this as part of the primary research she conducted and found that love has many facets, including: respect, trust, kindness, compassion, equity, appreciation, justice and courage. She loves Moshe Engelberg’s definition: “love is the energy that uplifts and connects.” How do we practice love at work? One way is to let love in and trust that what we need will be there. We only need to open our eyes to see and let go of our preconceived notions of what provisions should look like. Enjoy this episode of Rooted & Unwavering and experience the trust and confidence that comes online when we practice love. Reflects Renée: How on earth are we going to get results if we don't care for each other?
E20
with Hylke Faber & Rick Gage
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We connect to our deeper selves by letting go of our attachments to what is not true and by allowing our true essence to come to the foreground of our experience. We discover this connection to our deeper sense of being by taking the seat of the observer and watching how our small self keeps contracting around images we have of ourselves, others and the broader world, to the exclusion of the broader, wider reality that is always here. Rooted & Unwavering host Hylke Faber and Growth Leaders Network coach Rick Gage review the past 7 podcasts and reflect together on what we can learn from Augusto Muench, President of Boehringer Ingelheim Central America, Mexico and Caribbean, Valerie Bemo, Deputy Director at the Gates Foundation, Gaurav Bhatnagar, CEO of CoCreation Partners, Olena Sergeeva, Yaryna Klyuchkovska, both from Ukraine, Karen Nowicki, INudge coach, James Christensen, CEO of Gateway Bank and Bert van de Hoek, CEO of the Trimbos Institute. How can practicing Truth, Love and Service help us connect us more deeply to our true selves?
E19
with Bert van der Hoek
Bert van der Hoek, CEO of the Trimbos Institute for mental health in the Netherlands, shares how his orientation has become more and more inclusive over the course of his life. As a young man his focus was on his own performance and success, and that of his immediate team and family. Now he is focused on serving a higher purpose: creating a better world. He uses purpose also as a powerful leadership orientation: bringing people who, on the surface have divergent interests, work together toward a common goal. What do life insurance companies and healthcare providers have in common? How can higher purpose unite them to work together to better healthcare quality and access? Listen to this episode of Rooted & Unwavering and discover how being honest about we really care about brings us together.
E18
with James Christensen
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“At a point you think no one could love you, and here are strangers showing you love,” reflects James Christensen, CEO of Gateway Bank, on his personal growth journey, transforming severe depression and isolation into deep connectedness with himself and others. Part of the way he leads now includes sharing in a profoundly genuine way, for example that he has moments when he feels completely worthless and moments when he feels incredibly strong. James builds a culture of deep honesty, care and service at Gateway Bank. “Service is what makes our life better. The people you serve fill you up so much. Service fills me up. It gives the energy I need to do what I need to do at work.” Listen to this episode of Rooted & Unwavering and discover more about the power of true authenticity and care.
E17
with Karen Nowicki
How do we work through challenging emotions? Says Karen Nowicki, Trauma Guide “Giving myself space to feel the darkest feelings without making myself or anyone wrong.” In that space we can access our wiser self and ask: “How much of what I'm feeling and experiencing is really a response to my own trauma I've been carrying?” And then sitting with it and letting the lesson land in you. Karen shares there are so many ways to ‘sit’ with trauma, including moving our body, helping to create space around the difficult energy that way. Why do this work as leaders? It helps us as leaders “to stay solidly grounded in our truth so that we can be unwavering in the way we show up for others.” Enjoy this episode of Rooted & Unwavering and discover how your most challenging emotions can be gateways to greater authenticity, balance and freedom.
E16
with Hylke Faber, Olena Sergeeva, Yaryna Klyuchkovska
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How do we stay connected to some kind of sanity when our country is being invaded by another one? Says Yaryna Klyuchkovska, a senior communications expert, living in Kyiv: “As a country we are surviving because we've learned who we are. Yaryna shares that war has taught her more of what she is truly made of. She acts on what she truly values, even if it means losing relationships, and a prestigious job. “It’s not a value if it doesn’t have a cost,” reflects Yaryna. And, practicing forgiveness, she accepts that everyone makes their own choices. Olena Sergeeva, a seasoned facilitator and coach from Ukraine who has moved to the US has found herself in search for meaning and what her true core is. “It's difficult not to be sucked into bigger emotions and be blown with the wind,” says Olena adding that she finds inner stability through empathy with self and others, meditation, exercise, and by facing head on old patterns that no longer serve her. Both draw inspiration from Viktor Frankl’s “Man’s Search for Meaning” and practice gratitude. Listen to this episode of Rooted & Unwavering and discover more of your inner wherewithal to work with crises.
E15
with Gaurav Bhatnagar
A “common feature of fear – it usually highlights where we need to grow,” we read in “Unfear,” the book that Rooted & Unwavering guest Gaurav Bhatnagar wrote together with his colleague Mark Minukas. Believing that we are separate and forgetting that we are all part of the same essence, consciousness, causes us to lose our sense of well-being. Being exhausted is a sign that we have are not yet recognizing we are part of an infinite energy that is always available to us. We begin to wake up to this recognition by taking the perspective of the observer – realizing we are not our thoughts and feelings and that we have thoughts and feelings. Deeply seated in this knowing, we experience joy and play, that allows us to practice ‘detached engagement’ with the challenges around us. We know who we are in essence, don’t get lost in our own thoughts and feelings that may be about trying to fix something, and we keep self-regulating: is this thought helpful now? How be and do what is needed now?
E14
with Valerie Bemo
Dr Valerie Nkamgang Bemo, Deputy Director at the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation says: “Give aid while recognizing the dignity of the people receiving aid.” How do we honor dignity, of ourselves and of others? Valerie shares how it all starts with being authentic, sharing from our true selves, without expecting anything in return. And give to others in a way that recognizes that they like to make their own choices. She also shares how we can learn about Ubuntu (I am because we are) and generosity from the poor. Said Valerie about one person who received a bag of rice and turned around to share it with others: “You cannot be happy and centered if everyone around you is not.” Listen to this episode of Rooted & Unwavering and connect more deeply to your generous self.
E13
with Augusto Muench
How do we come back to our true selves, especially when challenged and lead from that values-based place? Augusto Muench, President of Boehringer Ingelheim Mexico, Central America and Caribbean wears a bracelet that reminds him to be humble, especially when he feels triggered. Is this thought coming from my higher self or is it my ego who is trying to take over and force a solution? He shares how fear-based reactions lead to fear-based outcomes. Being aware gives us the wherewithal to step out of this downward cycle, reground ourselves and choose again. Stepping out of our fears, we discover a space that is peaceful, vast and kind. This space provides us with the perspective to see that all is well, even if we by ourselves may not be able to create the solution we want. The problem we face may be bigger than our individual selves. However, collectively, coming from our higher selves, we are bigger than the problem.
E12
with Hylke Faber & Rick Gage
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What can we learn from six senior leaders about leading large organizations connected to our best selves? Join Hylke Faber and Rick Gage as they reflect together on the past six Rooted & Unwavering episodes with: Pamela Mattson from Outreach, Amit Basak from Full Potential Solutions, Greet Prins from the Dutch Chamber of Commerce, Bernard Slowey from Salesforce, John Rex, formerly at Microsoft, and Pradeep UN from Truths & Insights. Explore deep acceptance of ourselves and what is, daring to be present also when things don’t go our way and discover the always and already grace that is here in and around us to enjoy and to share. Look at the world with grandfather eyes.
E11
with Pradeep U.N.
How does sharing our stories help us to connect more deeply with ourselves and each other? How do we help each other by sharing our story? What do we want our legacy story to be that becomes a seed for someone else’s? Pradeep U.N., Senior Director, Inclusive Innovations at Microsoft, shares his story about making choices on what truly adds to his life and about staying courageously curious to learning about things that bring him joy.
Pradeep was inducted into the Microsoft Garage Wall of Fame in May 2022, as the founder of Truths & Insights, a digital culture transformation platform that enables leaders to engage their teams and customers in courageous conversations. One way Pradeep is able to keep learning and create groundbreaking innovations is by committing to ‘suck’ at something for a while, simply to allow the learning experience to unfold as it does.
Listen to this episode of Rooted & Unwavering and allow yourself to become more conscious of the choices, as you grow more and more into your aspirations.
E10
with John Rex
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What story do you tell yourself about not being ready yet to do and be what you truly aspire to be? What becomes possible when you inquire into your “I can only…when…” limiting beliefs and let them go? How can you respond to this moment in a way that brings you peace in your heart and feeling pride in your actions? Listen to this episode of Rooted & Unwavering and hear what John Rex, Executive Coach and former CFO of Microsoft North America, has been learning about living and leading from his core values, taking response-ability and enjoying life as it comes and helping others grow in their journeys. Says John: “We humans tend to try too hard to define what the rewards of life should be. We don’t trust enough that the journey itself is its own reward, so we fixate on a destination, or a particular achievement and we forget that the value of life is in living the journey. This present moment that we are in right now has its own merit and value just by being here. Every experience has value as it offers us an opportunity to respond, to be conscious to make a choice that brings us peace in our heart and feel pride in our actions.”
E09
with Bernard Slowey
Where do we find the wherewithal to choose courage over comfort consistently? How do we help ourselves to stay open and curious? Bernard Slowey, Vice President of Digital Customer Success at Salesforce, shares how it all starts with selfcare. Going for a run, spending time with his wife and five-year-old sun, meditating and finding other ways to take care of monkey mind helps him to stay grounded and confident as he works with his teams to serve customers well. He also reflects on how connecting with the bravery of his ancestors helps him put things in perspective and find the strength to bring his best self to this moment. “Find what works for you…everybody is different, you may enjoy going out for a walk, spending time in nature. You have to find what gives you balance.” Listen to this episode of Rooted & Unwavering to learn how to stay in balance, also with lots on our plates.
E08
This episode is in dutch
with Greet Prins
How do we stay grounded in authentic wisdom and purposefulness, without losing ourselves in our individual perspective? “We need to stay deeply curious about perspectives different from ours,” says Greet Prins, Chairman of the Dutch Chamber of Commerce, and inquire into the underlying reasons why people hold these perspectives. Greet speaks to the power of staying open and actively absorbing diverse opinions without getting lost in them. She also shares how we stay connected to others as human beings when there are polarized views. And she shares how staying focused on the greater good helps us lead through challenge and change. Listen to this episode of Rooted & Unwavering and contemplate how to bring different perspectives together in our own hearts and lead from that deeper, integrating, authentic place.
E07
with Amit Basak
Amit Basak, who leads Full Potential Solutions and Perch Insights, says that to create peak flow at work, we need to integrate excellence and accountability with grace – having deep empathy for where the other person is coming from. And then take 100% responsibility to foster an environment in which people can realize their full potential. Practicing grace doesn’t mean turning a blind eye to low performance or people not living the values. Amit shares that to be in integrity, he practices radical candor, providing tough feedback when that is needed. He recalls an experience as a teenager with radical candor when his wrestling coach said: “I am disappointed in you.” Amit grew from this because he trusted his coach. Listen to this episode of Rooted & Unwavering and learn how, with grace, we can have even the toughest conversations.
E06
with Pamela Mattsson
Being connected to others starts with connecting to our own true selves. When we connect to our true selves, we notice resonance and dissonance. From a place of inner resonance, we share our truth with others, holding it lightly, knowing it may only be 2% of the full picture. People leaders help unlock the collective genius of the group by creating a safe space, ‘the safest table,’ for people to share their truths about their resonance and dissonance and productively debate and challenge one another, however uncomfortable, in service of helping each person grow and realize more of their potential. Join Rooted & Unwavering host Hylke Faber and Pamela Mattsson, SVP of People and Organizational Development at Outreach as they explore connecting to true selves.
E05
Hylke Faber & Rick Gage
What is the experience being rooted and unwavering? How does it help us lead differently? And how do we practice connecting to our deeper core? Rooted & Unwavering host Hylke Faber and Rick Gage, Growth Leaders Network Executive Director, explore lessons learned from the first four Rooted & Unwavering conversations with Toni Townes-Whitley, NASDAQ Board Member, Zoya Lytvyn, leader of the Ukrainian online school system, Rene Yoakum, Chief People and Customer Officer at Remitly and Erica Schaper, President of NHL Stenden University of Applied Sciences in the Netherlands. Core insights include:
* Being grounded in our true self helps us be stronger than our ratio can comprehend;
* Keeping our eye off the ball and on the field helps us access greater wisdom;
* Letting ourselves be supported by our inner teacher helps us to mature in the moment;
* Being humble about what is ours and what is not, helps us to stay true to our purpose.
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Spend some time getting to know your inner resources as you listen to this episode of Rooted & Unwavering
E04
with Erica Schaper
Stepping into our higher purpose, we connect to a deeper sense of energy that we experience viscerally, shares Erica Schaper, Chairman of the Board of NHL Stenden University of Applied Sciences in the Netherlands. Purpose helps Erica to be decisive, also when she needs to take unpopular decisions. In the heat of a challenging conversation, she keeps an eye on what is truly important, so as not get distracted by emotions, hers or anyone else’s.
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Erica finds greater strength in purpose by becoming clear what she is really called to focus on and what is outside of her scope. She humbly acknowledges that we are only on this planet for a very short time and we will not solve all our problems in our lifetimes. Does that dissuade her from giving it her all? No, not at all. Erica stays focused on her purpose and takes small steps towards it every day. This includes taking care of herself, taking time off, spending time with her wife Hetty at their horse farm, or losing herself in a good book.
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What is your true purpose? How can you live it even more today? Enjoy this episode of Rooted & Unwavering.
E03
with Rene Yoakum
How do we connect to our deeper wisdom and compassion, especially when challenged? Comes in Grace.
“Grace” is the name Rene Yoakum has given to her wiser, more mature inner self. Says Rene “Grace is about 20 years older than I am.” Rene Yoakum, EVP of Customer and Culture at Remitly, shares in this episode of Rooted & Unwavering how she has found in Grace a great inner mentor that helps her move through challenging times with openness and curiosity.
Grace helps her find the joy that lies beyond the challenges she encounters. It helps her consciously chooses love over fear.
Says Rene: “I ground myself in love by being purposeful. That helps me be my best in every situation.”
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Learn more about connecting to your wiser more mature self
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Learn how to find joy in every challenge
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Learn to use vulnerability as a way to deeply connect and build high performing teams
E02
with Zoya Lytvyn
Challenges, especially the most severe ones, are also our most powerful teachers, Zoya Lytvyn, leader of the Ukranian NGO Osvitoria, shares in this episode of Rooted & Unwavering. She discovers inner strength at a deeper level that comes online when her brain wants to give up and become a vegetable.
Her organization currently provides education to more than 500,000 secondary school students online all over Ukraine and as refugees in over 120 countries abroad. How does she access her strength and not give into depression and reactivity?
She shares with host Hylke Faber how she keeps choosing what’s most important to her: being happy and being of service: building and adapting education to meet the needs of children now living in times of war.
E01
with Toni Townes-Whitley
Hylke Faber speaks with Toni Townes-Whitley, NASDAQ Board Director and former President of Microsoft US Regulated Industries, about how to lead from a place that is deeply connected to our core. Toni shares insights about how foundational forgiveness is in soulful leadership and that it includes assuming positive intent, taking deep breaths and looking at people and situations with peripheral vision beyond the issue at hand.
Also, how is a ‘round no’ a powerful way to serve another person? How can we practice forgiveness by explicitly making space for ‘ugly conversations’? How can we use conflict to become even more connected with each other? Learn more about being and becoming a rooted & unwavering leader from this deep dialogue about connectedness.
Learn how foundational forgiveness is to being a connected leader.
